Saturday, September 14, 2019

Normally, I would have just felt really

It started the moment I woke up.   For some inexplicable reason, my dog, Sammy, decided to chew through the electrical cord and ended up getting fried in the process.Normally, I would have just felt really sad at losing Sammy who had been with me through a number of breakups and the drunken lonely evenings that followed, but I had gotten up late to meet up with this hot girl who asked me out last week.I hurriedly got out of bed to take a quick shower.   It was decidedly the best part of my day.   Uneventful and normal, just the way I like my days.   God had decided differently, however, as I stepped out of the shower only to realize that I had no dry towels.   Sammy, in his infinite wisdom, had apparently decided that his last act on this earth, save the suicide, was to soil all of my towels with his scent.   It was to be one of this many parting gifts to me that day, as I was about to realize.Managing to hurriedly dry myself off like Sammy would have done, I managed to f ind a pair of jeans lying around that was pretty clean.   Not long after that I was fully dressed and ready to go.   Mental checklist of deodorant, wallet, keys, phone all done, I nearly forgot my shoes.   It was amazing though that Sammy didn’t forget my shoes as I slipped my feet into a pool of his saliva that had accumulated inside the only decent pair of shoes that I had.It was the perfect day.   My best buddy dies in a freak electrical cord chewing incident, I dry myself off from the shower by shaking vigorously, and I find that I don’t even have any shoes to wear, all of these events on the one day that they shouldn’t be happening; the day that I was supposed to meet the girl of my dreams.I realize, as I stand there waiting for my dream date, that this was not only the perfect day but it was also the wrong day.   Sammy had somehow left with a last laugh.   He had taken a page off of my calendar and I realize that my date was for tomorrow and no t today.

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